a proud sexist

Everyone has that one friend. That friend that everyone asks what you two could possibly have in common seeing how from their viewpoint, you are night and day. Kim would be that friend of mine. While I cheerfully bake cookies for my family and bounce babies on my lap, she's burning bras and fighting for equal rights for women. Somehow though, even with the diversity, we are close friends. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for her and Jay. Now don't get me wrong here. They actually DO like each other, but they'd prefer to do their visiting from opposite ends of the country planet.

Thanks to the Winter From Hell, I got a text the other night from Kim. She was stuck in Hamilton, home being an hour away, and the roads were horrid. Can she take refuge here? Of course she can. And then it begins. You all know the expression "wait for it" correct? That's what I say to myself from the second she walks through the door. Normally, I only need to think it once or twice and Thursday night, they did not disappoint. I can't believe how fast I went from "wait for it" to "here it is." They might have even broke a record with the speed that it changed. Thursday's Issue Du Jour was equality - or the lack thereof - between the sexes. Arguing, throwing statistics around like baseballs, arguing some more, Google-ing so much I thought Google might break down - and on it went. This is how I amused myself while they battled -

New Jersey Crumb Cake

- and it's not because I don't have an opinion. I very much have an opinion. I just keep it to myself.

I am a sexist. A card carrying, flag waving, proud as punch, sexist. I have never, don't now, and never will believe that men and women are equal. I've always been of the firm belief that men are so much beneath us they might as well be made out of rubber with "welcome" stamped on their foreheads. Dumb as ox with dicks, men are. If I was that simple and stupid, trust me, I'd have shot myself long ago. Oh sure, you can all throw the rocket scientist mumbo jumbo at me and you're right, they are capable of that. Now walk a pair of Double D's into the room while they're building those rockets and watch what happens.

"Booooooobieeeees!!!!!"

And now you know why rockets crash.

I find it funny that so much time and money has been spent by men trying to find that elusive "missing link" brought about through evolution. We've all heard of the missing link. Half man, half ape, capable of grunting but no real conversation, not quite evolved but not quite a beast. Able to lift heavy objects but not too much more beyond that. Men have never found that missing link.

It's because they've never thought to look in a mirror.

(Nice looking cake, isn't it?)